There is one thing that I hate the most in life; Routine! Someone once told me that working is a form of “life imprisonment” or at least the term serves up to the age of 55 years old. When a person steps into the working world, he/she would have to take another step to maturity. It depends on how big or how small the step is. Nevertheless, the step still needs to be taken. The boy will grow up to be a man and the girl will grow to be a lady. There are those who are eager to spread their wings and leave the nest. They are just too eager to get to the working world to get the opportunity to earn their own wages and to have a total “control” over their own life or at least in the terms of “financial independence”. Whereas there are those on the other end of the pendulum. People like me, it is quite an oxymoron as I do have the love to do what I do in my work but yet there are times I dread going to work. However, over time this routine life has taken a toll over me. Time has become an important factor for me. Time is of essence. It does not only take a toll on my physical state yet it does indirectly affect my spirituality. When we are all grown up and assuming that we are already an adult our ego level tend to grow proportionately with our age. The older we get, the bigger our heads become.

Jesus once said that if we would want to enter the kingdom of Heaven then we should have faith like children. Don’t you realize that the older we get the more skeptical we become and the less faith we have? We ought to think more on the realistic perspective and the possible outcome of each action. Unlike when we were much younger we were much bolder in our actions and do not have much regard for the consequence of any decision taken, as the saying goes “Brawns more than Brains”. Sometimes, it’s our pride that prevents us from seeking the Lord or sometimes it’s just that we don’t believe that He is able to anything. Our problems or doubts may be too great for God to understand. Well, that a look at the nature. Do you understand the wonders of the sky? The anatomy of the birds? The phenomenal effects of the storm? The depths of the earth? You and I may not truly comprehend but He knows the inside out of everything. Or there may questions that blind your eyes and your thoughts? Why the death? Why the loss? Where is the justice? Once again, You and I may not know the reasons behind these questions but yet He knows.

Perhaps it’s time for us to place all those ego & doubts at the feet of Jesus. Let us sit by His feet and come to Him with the Faith like a Child (Matthew 18:2-4).

Dear God, surround me as I speak,
the bridges that I walk across are weak
Frustrations fill the void that I can't solely bear.

Dear God, don't let me fall apart
you've held me close to you
I have turned away and searched
for answers I can't understand.

They say that I can move the mountains
And send them falling to the sea
They say that I can walk on water
If I would follow and believe with Faith Like a Child

Sometimes, when I feel miles away
and my eyes can't see your face
I wonder if I've grown to lose the
recklessness I walked in light of you

They say that love can heal the broken
They say that hope can make you see
They say that faith can find a Savior
If you would follow and believe
With Faith Like a Child

Introvert, are reserved, thoughtful, and self-reliant. They are not necessarily asocial, but they tend to have smaller circles of friends, and are less likely to thrive on making new social contacts. (wikipedia)

Introvertism: A belief that tells one to view perspective from within and only from within. Everything that is not from within is of the without. A person that indulge in this belief; has a need to constantly seclude themselves to recharge and rejuvenate. This belief can be further separated into Positive Introvertism and Negative Introvertism.

Positive Introvertism: The ideal of having a perspective from within. It is characterized as being still, prayerful, and God-reliant. It is a person that constantly draws insight and strength from within (Holy Spirit that resides in our heart). Taking time to reflect and be still. Shutting-off the social clamours and taking time to refresh the soul.

Negative Introvertism: The ideal of looking at the "I" from within. It is characterized as being anxious, sensitive and self-conscious. It is a person that constantly frets about himself and having fear on other's perspective on him/her. Taking time to indulge and submerge in self-pity. Constantly putting blame on the social circle for the feeling of inadequacy. This belief is often link to Inferiority Complex.

Terms and words adapted from the -Ducktionary-

All alone?

You must be wondering, why I am bringing up some self-written terms to you. Well, being an Introvert myself I find myself constantly struggling with the issue of existence and worthiness. For those that know me pretty well, you must be thinking that I must be out of my mind to call myself an Introvert since you have definitely heard me making noise and being the life-wire of the group. Before I continue, let me rephrase the definition of Introvert to you. "They are not necessarily asocial, but they tend to have a smaller group of friends." So to you guys, I feel comfortable to be myself around you so you get to see the "inner" me. Anyway, back to the topic.

When a person indulges in the Negative Introvertism, the person may fall into a few traps that could lock them in their own self-built dungeon of despair. These are the traps that I would like to point out to you;

1) Self-Worth: I am not worthy enough to be around people. I am not that good.

2) Self-Pity: Who would want to be around a troublesome person like me? I have no friends.

3) Self-Agony: No one understands and no one cares. Who cares enough to know?

Once a person falls into these 3 traps they will find themselves digging deeper and deeper as they struggles to climb out of the trap. Perhaps some don't even realize that they are in the trap. Negative Introvertism could rip a person's confidence and sense of existence apart. This will further lead them to be subjected to depression and sadness. It's not the best experience to be in. I constantly find myself falling into this trap.

On the contrary, Positive Introvertism is about looking at God rather than looking at oneself. It is the best remedy for a hurting heart and the best counter to the traps of the Negative Introvertism. When we channel our thoughts from the "I" to God, our perspective changes. We will be thinking less about ourselves and more about God. That is exactly what Jesus did. Jesus constantly withdrew Himself to pray.

"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." – Luke 5:16

Stop focusing on ourselves and start focusing on God. Be prayerful and you will soon find yourself to be God-reliant. We will start to rely on God in everything that we do.

I find many introverted people tends to look at the extraverted counterpart and wishes to be like them. (Not all of the introverted feels this way, I for one belonged to the group that couldn't care less with the antiques that our extraverted counterpart does. Ignorance is bliss). My friends you don't have to.

Celebrate the fact that you are an Introvert for each of us is fearfully and wonderfully made by God. Take up the Positive Introvertism and allow the fullness of God to fill our heart.

From Duck to Swan
Signing out at 1.38pm - 23^rd November 2007

Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. – Luke 9:23

What does taking up our own cross means? What does the cross means? Many of us tend to have a misconception about what the cross means. The cross is often misunderstood as our burdens and heavy load. The dictionary defines the cross as - “any affliction that causes great suffering; "that is his cross to bear"; "he bears his afflictions like a crown of thorns"

Just a reminder to you on what the cross is. The cross is an ancient instrument of torture and execution designed to as the most severe punishment to criminals. Jesus wasn’t talking about mere trials, sufferings and burdens that we should bear daily. He is talking about death. Death to ourselves. Death to sin. The apostle Paul clearly understood the statement given by our Lord. In his letter to the believers in Galatia he wrote;

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” – Galatians 2:20

This verse speaks a lot to me. It serves as a reminder to carry our cross daily and to die to ourselves and our sin. Our goals, our ambitions, our wants, our longings, our desires, and everything that involves the capital s“I”n in the middle.

“But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.” – Philippians 3:7-9

I’ll let the Scripture speak to you.

“Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires.” – Galatians 5:24

The recent Korean hostage drama in Afghanistan saddens me and as the world waits in anticipation for the release of the hostages by the Taliban insurgents, let us commit this whole scenario until the hands of our Saviour. For this men and women, took the risk for the sake of Christ. Let us pray steadfastly for their release and in all things we know that God is in control of everything.

From Duck to Swan
Signing out at 11.59pm – 31^st July 2007

“It was a stormy day, at the streets of Sri Lanka. The clouds were gloomy and dark. Reverend Rajoo has just finished a long day of work ministering to the people. As he was walking home, a passing car splashed water from a puddle unto him. Reverend Rajoo was shocked with the rude surprise as his white shirt was drenched with muddy rain water. He could only see some tiny spots of mud on his white shirt and he thought it was ok. As he walked towards the street lamp down the street, he realised that it was more than tiny spots of mud had dirtied his shirt. He discovered bigger spots and as he drew near to the street lamp. When he was under the street lamp, he realised that his whole white shirt has turn into a brown muddy shirt.”

- Adapted from Reverend Rajoo of Sri Lanka in his sermon

This short testimony given by Reverend Rajoo has given a new insight to me on what Christianity is all about. We often have the misconception that the ultimate objective of a Christian is “just” to be perfect and to be Christ-like. However, being a Christian is more than that. I would like to emphasize that being a Christian doesn’t make us SINLESS but it does helps us to SIN-Less.

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." - John 8 : 12

The spots and blemishes become clearer as we walk closer towards Jesus. Things that were ought to be okay in the past may no longer be okay to us as we draw near to Him. As we draw near towards Jesus, His light reveals to us our spots and blemishes. Let us walk with Him and allow Him to renew our minds and our hearts as His light shines through.

“Lord, I come to your awesome presence
From the shadows into your radiance
By the blood I may enter your brightness
Search me, try me, consume all my darkness
Shine on me, shine on me” – adapted from Graham Kendrick
Copyright © 1987 Make Way Music

- I would give all that I have
Just to have a closer walk with Thee -

From Duck to Swan

Signing out at 12.50am – 23rd July 2007

Do you find yourself in the Rat Race? Many of us don’t even realize that we are in the Race. Being in the Race seems to be the norm of the post-modern era. Being in the Race leads us to constantly pushing ourselves further to keep up to its pace. We often tend to focus on the need for the race, on what we will eat (strength to work even harder?), on what we will wear (dress to impress and to raise our popularity?), on where we will stay (home for social status?). The more we focus on it, the more we worry on how to obtain it and one day the desire of wanting all these will eat into our very soul.

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?” – Matthew 6 : 26,28

Look at nature. It’s self-sustaining. It’s taken care of. The Creator Himself is caring for it. How much more He will take care of those that He has called His child? Therefore, don’t let the crutches of this world and this generation to have a grip on you. The only way to break out of this norm if you are in it is to Set Your Eyes on Jesus and things that once matters to you will grow strangely dim. The unseen hand is the hands of the Creator of All and He will sustain you. Let us run the race, a different race, a race marked out for us.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” - Hebrews 12: 1-3

The Rat Race is just a race for rats. (we are worth much more than that aren't we?)

From Duck to Swan
Signing out at 7.00pm – 17^th May 2007

Have you ever had the joy of building up a sand castle? Building a sand castle is not as easy as it seem to be. Ask the professionals and you will find yourself being bombarded with complicated formulas and equations (S = M x sand + N x water) that must be adhered to build and sustain this delicate structure against the forces of nature. Personally, we may have built sand castles by the beach and we have been building sand castles in our lives.

Sand Castles built by the sands of enjoyment, sands of success, sands of ignorance, sands of pride, and the list goes on.

Have you ever thought that the basic formula to build a sand castle comprises from 2 basic substances? Sand and water that comes in abundance. Let me remind you, any sand castles that were ever build could not withstand the rain and the wind. It crumbles and falls apart when the storm hits the bay of the beach. Rumbling waves, slaps hard upon the beach and all the hard effort of building the sand castles will be in vain. So then, what’s more worthwhile? Investing our time in things that does not last or Investing our time things that matters and last for eternity?

“...everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against the house, and it fell with a great crash.” – Matthew 7:26-27

There is a constant struggle between Reality and Spirituality, Rock and Sand, Contentment and Discontentment. What we want may not be what God wants us to be. We strive and struggle to go against Him and building our individual sand castles that will not last.

Let us learn to live to the remarkable words of the Apostle Paul;

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do anything through him who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4:12-13

Let us build castles with and on THE ROCK that will last forever and ever.

From Duck to Swan
Signing out at 11:07pm at 23^rd April 2007

Wilderness. It is an extensive area, such as a desert or ocean, that is barren or empty; a wasteland. It is a place where the wild roams free and anything can happen in it. It is often viewed as a place to fear and avoid. It is a forsaken land where even the thought of stepping into it is a taboo. However, the word wilderness is a common sight in the Bible. The children of Israel spent 40 years in the wilderness, David seek refuge in the wilderness when he was hunted by King Saul and Jesus Himself spent 40 days in the wilderness. Have you ever journeyed across the wilderness? Or are you being forced into the wilderness through the circumstances that you face?

The choice of allowing ourselves to end up in the wilderness is within our grasp. There are three options that is opened to us.

1) Disobey God. Complain and grumble about everything that we face and be discontented with what we have. The manna is so dull, we want quail! You will see yourself being stripped of all and earning a ticket into the desert just like the children of Israel.

"In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron." - Exodus 16:2

2) Disaster arises. Calm sea turns to grave storm. Grief strikes, disappointment lurks. That's when we retreat into the wilderness for refuge just as David did.

“Keep me safe, O God, for in you I take refuge.” – Psalms 16:1

3) Devotedly obedient. Allowing ourselves to be sacrifices for God on the altar. We diligently march into the wilderness just as Jesus did.

“At once the Spirit sent him out into the desert, and he was in the desert forty days, being tempted by Satan. He was with the wild animals, and angels attended him.” Mark 1:12-13

Options 1 and 2 looks familiar doesn’t it? Why must it be when we are stripped of all only then we turn to the Saviour? Why must we cling on to the things that does not last and only to let it go when God made us to? Why aren't we just be contented with what we have? Does complaining about the things we doesn't have brings us any good? Take sometime to think about the bout of questions. If you are in the wilderness because of Option 3 I applaud you but be ready for the bout of trials and temptations that will come your way.

It is in the wilderness, we are in solitude. It is where God works to break us completely. In the wilderness there is nothing. In the wilderness there is no one. When everything fades away, our daily routine, our work, our studies, our friends and when we are left with nothing. That's when we can hear the gentle whispers of God. The world drowns us in an echo of demands. Deadlines, examinations, activities, responsibilities. In the midst of the echoes, can you actually hear the gentle whispers of God?

God lead us into the wilderness so that we can hear His voice.

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” – Psalm 46:10

"A mother duck hatches her eggs and, while most of her ducklings are normal, one is gray, too large, and too clumsy to fit in among the others. Though she tries to accept him, the entire barnyard realizes that he simply does not belong and after a period of harassment he leaves (or is driven away) to fend for himself. He wanders for the entire summer and fall, for no one will take him in, and he nearly freezes to death in an icy pond. Though he is rescued by a human, he cannot live in captivity, and he goes back to the wild.

By the end of winter he is miraculously still alive. He comes to a pond in a park or garden, where beautiful white swans are swimming. He is drawn to their beauty, though he has no reason to think that they will treat him better than anyone else has. Still, he thinks, even if they kill him, he must approach them. To his surprise, the beautiful creatures welcome and accept him; gazing at his reflection, he sees that he too is a swan. The children declare that he is the most beautiful swan of them all, yet he isn't proud for a good heart is never proud. Because of all that he suffered he now appreciates his happiness so much more. "It doesn't matter that you were born in a duck yard, so long as you have lain inside a swan's egg.""

Don't you think that the irony of this story lies in the birth of the swan in the coop of the ducks? How did the egg of the swan ends up among the other eggs of the ducks? Makes us ponder doesn't we? As we reflect on this simple story, do we find ourselves going through what the poor ugly duckling went through? As we wandered on our own in search for a place we could belong and only to find that everywhere that we turn to, the doors were shut at our face. Life is filled with disappointments and disappointments comes in many forms. First of all, people will disappoint us. Family will disappoint us, friends will disappoint us, our loved ones will disappoint us. At the point of life when we find ourselves devoid of all hope, there is always a shining ray of hope that gives us the meaning to life.

The poor duckling was rescued by a man, our poor soul devoid of of hope was rescued by the sacrificial love of Jesus Christ. Ever wonder how did the duckling ends up by the pond? Did the duckling ever moved out of the places where he is familiar with? No. The duckling was found by the icy pond. Its natural habitat. The man came to the rescue of the poor duckling and mind you no one would ever enter into a forest in an icy cold winter.

Why don't we take a moment to think. Ever wonder how did we ended up at the feet of Jesus? Perhaps we've met him in a camp, after a life-changing experience, through a friend, through a stranger, through our parents, through our church. Was it our own effort to get to know Jesus? Or was He the one that came into our lives. Our natural habitat. To rescue us from freezing to death. The transformation took place. The process of turning from an ugly duckling into a beautiful swan happened over the span of winter in the man's care. The transformation of our lives took place and is still taking place in Christ's care.

"Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"
- 2 Corinthians 5:17 (Ugly duckling to Beautiful Swan)

Sometimes we just missed the whole point of being a new creation. Here is a good point that can be taken from the story:-

"He is drawn to their beauty, though he has no reason to think that they will treat him better than anyone else has. Still, he thinks, even if they kill him, he must approach them.To his surprise, the beautiful creatures welcome and accept him; gazing at his reflection, he sees that he too is a swan."

Sounds familiar? Am I worthy enough to be a Christian? Do i fit to be one? Oh if only they knew what I've done. How could I ever be with them? (other Christians) By being a new creation our old self is dead. It is gone. We are no longer an ugly duckling. Look into the reflection of the water. What do you see? Do you see yourself or do you see Christ? Do you see the beautiful person you are? If you are still doubting here's something to help you.

"For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again."
- 2 Corinthians 5:14-15

ALL. So there is no one that is left that is not forgiven as long as we ask. May we be as swans that reflects the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ in our lives. Let us follow the humility of the ugly duckling that bears the beauty and of our Lord Jesus Christ. Let us be reminded it is Christ that has given us the hope of life and a chance to change to be a Swan. It doesn't matter how and who we were in the past, as long as we are in Christ Jesus today.

From Duck to Swan.
Signing out at 4.24pm-9th March 2007.