The Year that was 2007...

Category: By - Duck -
"I will praise you forever for what you have done;
in your name I will hope, for your name is good.
I will praise you in the presence of your saints." - Psalms 52:9



"For great is his love toward us, and the faithfulness of the LORD endures forever. Praise the LORD." - Psalm 117:2

From Duck to Swan
Signing out at 8:30am - 24th January 2008
 

Without You

Category: By - Duck -

It's been five years since we last heard your voice, seen your smile and felt your touch. You are deeply and greatly missed by us your beloved. Since your departure life has not been perfectly well for us, waves and storms crashed upon us. Waves after waves strikes upon your household. We grew from strength to strength with the memory of you in our hearts. Patching up the sinking hole as we sail upon this rocky boat. We start to wonder whether if the sea is not that fierce or we have gotten better in manning the boat to adapt to the sea. Nevertheless, the guide that you left behind provided us strength to steer through the storm. The memories of you will always be in our hearts. The way you've touched each one of us may be different but yet we know that your love for each of us are special. The jokes that you shared, the laughter that we shared, will always be embedded in our hearts. Friday the 13th, an auspicious day. You will always remind us, it's the day of the birth of Mr.Freddy from Elm Street. 5 Friday the 13th has since passed, yet we are still reminded of your joke on this auspicious day. Friday the 13th has now gone beyond the birth of a freak, it became the day where you left us behind.

Without you,
Life has never been the same

---
This post is dedicated to a wonderful husband, father, uncle and friend
a legend, a hero
Phang Yoon Lum PJK
(27th February 1947 - 13th December 2002)
Deeply missed by your beloved
---

From Duck to Swan
Signing out at 12.14am - 19th December 2007
 

Your Love

Category: By - Duck -
Finally the long awaited day has finally arrived. 6th December 2007. Liberation from countless days of restless sleep, brain tension and burning of midnight oil. Chartered Institute of Marketing examination is finally over. It's a miracle that I managed to pull through 4 papers. I remember my lecturer's expression when he heard that I will be taking 4 papers at one go. Well at that point of time, I've never expected the horror of taking 4 papers at one go, in fact I was rather relaxed and confident. Nevertheless, through God's mercy and grace the exam is finally over and I am still alive!

What I've learned through this CIM examination is not to be stubborn and learn to listen to people's advice. Taking 4 papers is never easy when you have to study part-time and work at the same time. Maybe I am still young and gung-ho with my decisions. Well, advice is finally taken and I'll never repeat it again. I am truly thankful to God for seeing me through this whole ordeal and being so patient with me whenever I slack off or laze around wasting my time. Though as undeserving as I am, He has sustained me with good health and protected me as I journeyed to University of Malaya under a state of blurness at 6am in the morning. What can I say O Lord. There is nothing I can say to express what I feel for You. Thank You Lord.

When you took me in Your embrace
Everything around me starts to fade
And all that I can only see
Is your unfailing Love
My Lord, thank you for Your love

From Duck to Swan
Signing out at 8:56pm - 6th December 2007
 

Introducing "Introvertism"

Category: , , By - Duck -

Introvert, are reserved, thoughtful, and self-reliant. They are not necessarily asocial, but they tend to have smaller circles of friends, and are less likely to thrive on making new social contacts. (wikipedia)

Introvertism: A belief that tells one to view perspective from within and only from within. Everything that is not from within is of the without. A person that indulge in this belief; has a need to constantly seclude themselves to recharge and rejuvenate. This belief can be further separated into Positive Introvertism and Negative Introvertism.

Positive Introvertism: The ideal of having a perspective from within. It is characterized as being still, prayerful, and God-reliant. It is a person that constantly draws insight and strength from within (Holy Spirit that resides in our heart). Taking time to reflect and be still. Shutting-off the social clamours and taking time to refresh the soul.

Negative Introvertism: The ideal of looking at the "I" from within. It is characterized as being anxious, sensitive and self-conscious. It is a person that constantly frets about himself and having fear on other's perspective on him/her. Taking time to indulge and submerge in self-pity. Constantly putting blame on the social circle for the feeling of inadequacy. This belief is often link to Inferiority Complex.

Terms and words adapted from the -Ducktionary-

All alone?

You must be wondering, why I am bringing up some self-written terms to you. Well, being an Introvert myself I find myself constantly struggling with the issue of existence and worthiness. For those that know me pretty well, you must be thinking that I must be out of my mind to call myself an Introvert since you have definitely heard me making noise and being the life-wire of the group. Before I continue, let me rephrase the definition of Introvert to you. "They are not necessarily asocial, but they tend to have a smaller group of friends." So to you guys, I feel comfortable to be myself around you so you get to see the "inner" me. Anyway, back to the topic.

When a person indulges in the Negative Introvertism, the person may fall into a few traps that could lock them in their own self-built dungeon of despair. These are the traps that I would like to point out to you;

1) Self-Worth: I am not worthy enough to be around people. I am not that good.

2) Self-Pity: Who would want to be around a troublesome person like me? I have no friends.

3) Self-Agony: No one understands and no one cares. Who cares enough to know?

Once a person falls into these 3 traps they will find themselves digging deeper and deeper as they struggles to climb out of the trap. Perhaps some don't even realize that they are in the trap. Negative Introvertism could rip a person's confidence and sense of existence apart. This will further lead them to be subjected to depression and sadness. It's not the best experience to be in. I constantly find myself falling into this trap.

On the contrary, Positive Introvertism is about looking at God rather than looking at oneself. It is the best remedy for a hurting heart and the best counter to the traps of the Negative Introvertism. When we channel our thoughts from the "I" to God, our perspective changes. We will be thinking less about ourselves and more about God. That is exactly what Jesus did. Jesus constantly withdrew Himself to pray.

"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." – Luke 5:16

Stop focusing on ourselves and start focusing on God. Be prayerful and you will soon find yourself to be God-reliant. We will start to rely on God in everything that we do.

I find many introverted people tends to look at the extraverted counterpart and wishes to be like them. (Not all of the introverted feels this way, I for one belonged to the group that couldn't care less with the antiques that our extraverted counterpart does. Ignorance is bliss). My friends you don't have to.

Celebrate the fact that you are an Introvert for each of us is fearfully and wonderfully made by God. Take up the Positive Introvertism and allow the fullness of God to fill our heart.

From Duck to Swan
Signing out at 1.38pm - 23rd November 2007

 

More to this Life

Category: By - Duck -
More to this Life by Steven Curtis Chapman

Today I watched in silence as people passed me by,
And I strained to see if there was something hidden in their eyes;
But they all looked at me as if to say
Life just goes on.

The old familiar story told in different ways,
Make the most of your own journey from the cradle to the grave;
Dream your dreams tomorrow because today
Life must go on.

CHORUS
But there’s more to this life than living and dying,
More than just trying to make it through the day;
More to this life, more than these eyes alone can see,
And there’s more than this life alone can be.

Tonight he lies in silence staring into space,
And looks for ways to make tomorrow better than today,
But in the morning light it looks the same;
Life just goes on.

He takes care of his family, he takes care of his work,
And every Sunday morning he takes his place at the church;
And somehow he still feels a need to search,
But life just goes on.

So where do we start to find every part
Of what makes this life complete;
If we turn our eyes to Jesus we’ll find
Life’s true beginning is there at the cross where He died.
He died to bring us . . .

---

I've been struggling with the issue about existence. I am pretty sure that in one way or another we would have stumble upon this question. "What on earth am I here for?" I guess it's one of the most common question that has ever been asked in the history of mankind. We often find ourself asking God the meaning of us being here and the quest for purpose seem to be a never-ending task. The moment we thought we have already found the purpose of living, doubts starts to cloud the "purpose" we have found. In the end of the day, it will be like running through a vicious cycle of searching, finding and losing.

Ponder upon the lyrics of the song. What do you see? Do you see yourself in it? Do you hear the words that constantly haunts you? We often force our way through life or rather we often give excuses to the emptiness we are suffering. The phrase "Life must go on, Life just goes on" echoes in the hallway of our empty heart. Aren't you frustrated? It's like, what's next? Now what? Frankly, I am frustrated with this search. Even when we have the one sure thing that secures our heart yet we constantly fall into this vicious loop of self-identity, self-purpose and the very issue of existence. I started to ponder upon this thought, why am still feeling this sense of emptiness within me although I have the one sure thing? I discovered that I am just too shy to bring this issue up with God and decided to wallow in it on my own.

A surge of emptiness flowed within my heart today. The feeling of being abandoned, forsaken and left to be alone. I decided to pray and give it all to Jesus for I know that Jesus was abandon, forsaken and indeed left to be alone. Abandon by his beloved disciples. Forsaken, when God turned His face away when He was on the cross. Alone in the grave. This thought has indeed uplifted my spirit and what I saw was the hand of Christ pulling me up from the pit of emptiness. I know, I will always stumble and fall into the pit. But I am sure, that each time I fall He will lift me up.

A pit can be real deep and scary

So my dear friends, if you are struggling and feel helpless. Do not be afraid, our Lord is there to lift us up. However there is one criteria; ASK for help. I am sure it will come. There is definitely more to this life, more than living and dying, more than trying to make it through another day.

"For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."" - Romans 10: 12, 13

From Duck to Swan
Signing out at 1.54pm - 16th November 2007