Introvert, are reserved, thoughtful, and self-reliant. They are not necessarily asocial, but they tend to have smaller circles of friends, and are less likely to thrive on making new social contacts. (wikipedia)

Introvertism: A belief that tells one to view perspective from within and only from within. Everything that is not from within is of the without. A person that indulge in this belief; has a need to constantly seclude themselves to recharge and rejuvenate. This belief can be further separated into Positive Introvertism and Negative Introvertism.

Positive Introvertism: The ideal of having a perspective from within. It is characterized as being still, prayerful, and God-reliant. It is a person that constantly draws insight and strength from within (Holy Spirit that resides in our heart). Taking time to reflect and be still. Shutting-off the social clamours and taking time to refresh the soul.

Negative Introvertism: The ideal of looking at the "I" from within. It is characterized as being anxious, sensitive and self-conscious. It is a person that constantly frets about himself and having fear on other's perspective on him/her. Taking time to indulge and submerge in self-pity. Constantly putting blame on the social circle for the feeling of inadequacy. This belief is often link to Inferiority Complex.

Terms and words adapted from the -Ducktionary-

All alone?

You must be wondering, why I am bringing up some self-written terms to you. Well, being an Introvert myself I find myself constantly struggling with the issue of existence and worthiness. For those that know me pretty well, you must be thinking that I must be out of my mind to call myself an Introvert since you have definitely heard me making noise and being the life-wire of the group. Before I continue, let me rephrase the definition of Introvert to you. "They are not necessarily asocial, but they tend to have a smaller group of friends." So to you guys, I feel comfortable to be myself around you so you get to see the "inner" me. Anyway, back to the topic.

When a person indulges in the Negative Introvertism, the person may fall into a few traps that could lock them in their own self-built dungeon of despair. These are the traps that I would like to point out to you;

1) Self-Worth: I am not worthy enough to be around people. I am not that good.

2) Self-Pity: Who would want to be around a troublesome person like me? I have no friends.

3) Self-Agony: No one understands and no one cares. Who cares enough to know?

Once a person falls into these 3 traps they will find themselves digging deeper and deeper as they struggles to climb out of the trap. Perhaps some don't even realize that they are in the trap. Negative Introvertism could rip a person's confidence and sense of existence apart. This will further lead them to be subjected to depression and sadness. It's not the best experience to be in. I constantly find myself falling into this trap.

On the contrary, Positive Introvertism is about looking at God rather than looking at oneself. It is the best remedy for a hurting heart and the best counter to the traps of the Negative Introvertism. When we channel our thoughts from the "I" to God, our perspective changes. We will be thinking less about ourselves and more about God. That is exactly what Jesus did. Jesus constantly withdrew Himself to pray.

"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." – Luke 5:16

Stop focusing on ourselves and start focusing on God. Be prayerful and you will soon find yourself to be God-reliant. We will start to rely on God in everything that we do.

I find many introverted people tends to look at the extraverted counterpart and wishes to be like them. (Not all of the introverted feels this way, I for one belonged to the group that couldn't care less with the antiques that our extraverted counterpart does. Ignorance is bliss). My friends you don't have to.

Celebrate the fact that you are an Introvert for each of us is fearfully and wonderfully made by God. Take up the Positive Introvertism and allow the fullness of God to fill our heart.

From Duck to Swan
Signing out at 1.38pm - 23^rd November 2007

It was the expression of the kids that touched me. I know that they have done something that is wrong. Stealing is never right. However, when I caught them I didn’t know what to do with them. They were so helpless and fearful. I knew that these kids don’t mean harm. All that they ever wanted was something that they do not have. All they wanted was to beautify their own bicycles that have seen better days. I didn’t want to scold them neither do I want to punish them. But I knew that they did something wrong and they must be taught to do the right thing. Moreover it was my first time apprehending kids for doing something wrong. Before I could say anything, a passer-by came and started scolding the kids in Tamil. Before I knew it, he started beating them. He smacked their hands and I knew it wasn’t a hard smack. It was more of wanting to teach them a lesson. My heart jumped each time he hit them and one of the boys almost cried when he tried to smack him. I felt helpless. I wanted to ask him to stop but I didn’t. I wanted to say something, but I can’t speak in Tamil. The boys were so overwhelmed with fear and guilt that he started apologising to me. The uncle took the spanner and the tyre tube cover and gave them to me. The kids fled on their bicycles. After a while, they came back while my colleagues were talking about the incident. I thought the kids will never come back but yet they came back. In fact, the one that came back was the one that I’ve caught earlier. Knowing the danger of being scolded they still come back to return the stolen tube cap and to reclaim their spanner. It was all they had for the bicycles. The spanner. My colleague apprehended him and frightened that she is going to bring him to the police. The boy was almost in tears and I just stood there helpless and speechless. My heart really went out for him. I wanted to let him know; if you really want it I can buy for you as a gift but promise me not to steal again. But I stood there and witness the onslaught of fear upon him. The uncle came back and spoke Tamil to the boy again. Once again, he started smacking him. It was more like a warning smack and he sent the boys away. Perhaps it was a good way to end it, as my colleague was very stern. I hope the kids learn a lesson through this incident. Stealing is never right. To my amazement, the tube cap that was returned was not the same colour as my colleague’s car. This boy, came back and took all the scolding and beating for his cowardice friend that ran away with the tube cap. I guess after all, he came back for the spanner.”

Looking back at it, I truly regret that I didn’t make a stand. I didn’t know how to. My passion goes out to kids like these. The profiles of these kids are all identical. They lack parental love, education, guidance material needs and most of all the care and sympathy. It’s never their choice to be brought up in circumstances such as these and I am very sure it was never their intention to steal. Who would steal if they can afford it? However, if no proper guidance is given to these unfortunate individuals these petty action of stealing may one day escalate to greater heights. Perhaps robbery.

I’ve met kids that come from poor family in Sunday School and I always care for them but the thing is I don’t know how to care for them. I guess the spanner that was in my hand taught me the meaning of acting out what my heart desires for God. Each time, I hold a spanner I will remember this incident and the lesson that I’ve learnt from it. I hope each time you meet someone from such a background you will extend your friendship to them and guide them. I am sure you will meet them. They are closer to you than you know it.

These kids remind me of myself. Sin decides my destination. I was scolded; smacked and rebuked for the time I’ve committed actions that were not right. Pushed to the corner with guilt and regrets. No where to run, No were to hide. Surrounded by giants that taunted me for the errors that I’ve made. In my moments of desperation and despair Jesus came to me. He picked me up, wiped away the grimes and stain on my face. He smiled at me and lifted me up with His hands. He died in my place. He forgave me. He gave me a new direction. A new destination. Homeward bound. Heaven bound.

“You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.” – Micah 7:19

From Duck to Swan
Signing out at 8.53 am – 24^th October 2007